Why was Paul not sent to Baptize but to Preach? (Protestants misuing 1 Cor. 1:17)

A popular example of "Protestants behaving badly" that usually comes from those of the Baptist or Non-Denominational groups of Protestants is when they seem to think it's better to denigrate Baptism than to concede it does anything salvific. This is known as the fallacy of "cutting off your nose to spite your face," where someone mistakenly thinks that an argument against their opponent is "worth it" even if that same argument ultimately undermines their own position as well. In this case, a favorite "proof text" against Baptism as "necessary for salvation" is for these folks to point to 1 Corinthians 1:14-17, where Paul says: "I thank God that I baptized none of you except Crispus and Gaius... for Christ did not send me to baptize but to preach the gospel..." These Protestants will allege that Paul is saying baptism is not important, even non-essential to salvation, because preaching and believing are what really matter, and that thus Baptism must not be that important. But is that really what Paul is alleging? I will show why this is absolutely the worst interpretation one can have. 

We will begin by looking at the full passage: